A Novel Thought

I spent money today that I shouldn't have. I wasted a whole afternoon at West Edmonton Mall. That is a very tricky place for someone such as myself with limited funds. I bought a pair of boots... a pair of very funky boots... and a new bag... and a pair of pink Roxy shoes, just because they were so cute. Then I missed my bus and sat miserably waiting for the next one, comforting myself by munching on SunChips.
But all this is not the reason I felt compelled to post. You see, this evening I started wandering around on the internet looking at shoes and bags (you see, once it starts it never stops) and I realized (not for the first time) that I am consumed by material things, and it's not good.
Then, I wondered what would happen if I started carrying around all my stuff in plastic grocery bags. Would my friends still like me? Would my coworkers still be nice to me? I came to the startling realization that they probably would. (I guess we'll never find out unless I try it, which isn't going to happen in the near future).
This realization led to another one. I thought - quite clearly - Grace, people don't like you for your stuff. And that thought stopped me short.
I see now that there's really only two possibilities. 1. I have been spending money unnecessarily in an attempt to impress other people/buy affection. 2. I have been spending money unnecessarily in an attempt to make me like me better. Or, in an attempt to bring myself happiness. Either way, the motivation is ostensibly for the sake of my own self.
If possibility number 1 is true, then my realization that "people don't like me for my stuff" should, if taken to heart, relieve the enormous pressure that I feel when ever I walk into a mall. Something is telling me to accumulate material possessions, and I unfortunately often listen. On the other hand, if possibility number 2. is true, then my realization won't do a thing for me. Only therapy can help at that point. (grin... mostly kidding)
It's my gut feeling that both possibilities are true. Possibility number 1 I will attempt to cure by a return to reality every now and again... the reality that people will not like me any better because I own a pair of suede, furry, trendy boots. Possibility number 2 I will attempt to cure by a little thing I call "self-governance." "Attempt" is the key word. Maybe I can find other ways to try to make myself happy. Like chocolate. Or fascinating suspense novels. Or B-12 Vitamins. I like them all. And they don't cost (much) money.