The Strange, Random, Beautiful Chaos of Life

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

I think coincidences are the queerest things to think about. Because you know, there are some people who hold to the view that there is no such thing as a coincidence, and everything happens for some kind of purpose. Then, there are others who believe that things just happen, due to the interactions of probabilities. Those people don't think that anything occurs according to some grand master plan. I suppose I would place myself somewhere in between those two groups. I'd like to believe that there's some purpose to life... but on the other hand, I feel like so much of life is just "the way it happens." Lately, I've been leaning toward the "random occurences" viewpoint.
But occurences as of late have been changing my way of thinking. I shall explain. But it might take a long time, so sit tight...
It was reading week last week. I went home in a state of extreme excitement. I love reading week. There's no other week of the year that is as much appreciated, filled with as much nothingness, relaxation, movies, shopping, good eating, and good times with friends. Sometimes, I like to call it "Suicide Prevention Week" or "Sanity Preservation Week." Whatever you call it, it's also my yearly opportunity to purchase useless things (in my case, an iPod nano - so pretty) and to look forward to summer and how I'll do things differently next year. So, I had a lovely week at home. I was able to procure a basement suite for next year. I went and visited the U of L, and was duly impressed. I even found a couple pairs of pants that aren't going to fall off my cadaverous butt. (Note: I do not mean to say that I'm just one of those skinny girls who naturally look like they're anorexic. I only mean that my poor little legs are sadly out of proportion to the rest of my body, and thus my pants usually require a belt for the sake of modesty.) I managed to ignore most of my homework, yet finish the most pressing assignments. It was a very productive week.
Now, on to the coincidences. I was on my way back to school on the Greyhound, and lo and behold my seatmate turned out to be this lovely girl in her third year at the U of A, a Christian, a fellow home-schooler, and - as I found out just before we arrived in Edmonton - someone who knows my brother's friend Christy! Now, if that's not weird, I don't know what is. (Christy, if you're reading this, you are known by your book club - I mentioned the lovely time that I had had at your book club, and Gina immediately wanted to know what your name was, and it turned out that her parents know your parents!) It was extremely coincidental, and since coincidental things never usually happen to me (at least not the good coincidences, like winning the lottery) I was forced to reflect on life, and whether coincidences are actually coincidences, or actually nonexistent. That was a long sentence. I guess I just wonder how much of what happens in my life is up to me and how much of it is a product of random chance.
Well, I guess my ruminating is done. This was a weird post. I had a lot I wanted to say and I don't think I said it all, but that's OK. I'm sure it will all come out sooner or later.

GOING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just a little bit excited! Yes, I am taking almost two whole weeks off from the rat race. I'm going to travel 5 hours south to the obscure little village from which I originated. There I will vegetate, ruminate, and watch movies until I have complutely obfuscated the mass of useless knowledge spinning inside my head. Yay!!
going home going home going home going home going home going home going home going home GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME GOING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I Love You... Blah Blah Blah

Well, apart from the slightly bitter/caustic tone of that heading... I'm really having a good Valentine's Day. And yes, I am single.
Last year my cousin rescued me from wallowing in my despair on this day of Cupids and kissing. This year, I'm hanging out by myself in my empty dorm, working on an annotated bibliography for Renaissance Literature, surfing the Internet, and just getting caught up on everything (like this poor neglected little blog). So I guess I didn't get rescued, (even my mom didn't send me a Valentine's Card! Boo) but I was considering my wonderfully single predicament, and I have come to the realization that I don't need rescuing. Cause I am OK with who I am. And although I would love to be in a different city and in my own house and out of school... I realize that this is a journey, and that I just have to struggle through the occasional mud-storm.
So I'm just waiting for reading week! Maybe I'll meet some charming young man on the bus. I certainly don't meet them at Hallmark - they're all buying cards for their wives and girlfriends. By the way, I never knew how busy a store could be until last night. Good grief, is every man in the city of Edmonton a last-minute shopper? Ladies, feel special. The price of cards is outrageous. I know, cause I hear about it every day from our customers. Yet, Carlton is more expensive. Shop Hallmark. Really. It's much better.
I think I covered at least three different topics in that last paragraph. My profs would cover their eyes in shame. Naughty me.

Pink Martini

Check out these guys! They're great, especially if you like something just a little bit different from your music.

Lunch

Did you know that you can make scrambled eggs in a microwave in under 1 minute, 30 seconds? Fully cooked scrambled eggs, no less?
I know what I am going to be eating every morning for the rest of my life.
In other news, I now have a persistent nagging scratch in the back of my throat. I suppose getting sick was inevitable, since my best friend has had 3 different flus in the past week and we frequently share things like food and breathing air.
Bring it on.

favoritest band EVER!!!!

OK, so I was looking around on the internet and I came across these. It's cause I broke out my LaRue Transparent CD today, which was like the third CD I ever bought in my life, and I fell in love with it instantly. It always makes me happy. Anyway, I was pretty much in love with this guy. I thought he was so hot (OK, I still do) and my friend ended up confiscating all the pictures from the CD cause I kept staring at them and I had dreams where I got to meet Phillip LaRue. Anyway, these are pictures from the album. Mmmm, so good. I just had to share them! (You all think I'm nutty now. Sorry, I'm in a weird mood today. Three posts in one day! When has that ever happened?)

I like it....

being antisocial, I mean! OK, so when I logged on this morning I really wanted to write about something... but I forgot what... and I just remembered now when I was looking at a friend's myspace. I realized that I have spent all day in my room, and I suppose people would call me antisocial. That used to be a dirty word for me. Now, I embrace my destiny! Haha, just kidding. I guess I just don't feel very antisocial... I have friends at work, and I have really good friends in my dorm. But other than that... I don't get out much. I go and watch basketball on weekends... I go to the library, go to class, go shopping, see the occasional movie. But I eat in my room, and I would rather spend the afternoon with a good book than with mostly anybody from Taylor. Cause they're stupid, awkward people. Oh geez, I shouldn't have said that. I just realized it this weekend though. Some of the guys that I know from last year were like, "Hey, where have you been? I never see you anymore." And I thought about it, and realized that I've been trying to avoid social activities at Taylor. So I guess that makes me antisocial. Not an introvert, cause I aint. People have been trying to pin that label on me for the last year. It just doesn't fit. I like parties and I like meeting new people. I'm not shy. I'm just... antisocial... here at Taylor anyway. I don't know what makes me think it will be any different anywhere else... I just know that I want to try anyway. My mom thinks that the loud, obnoxious individual I used to be is my real personality. Anyone who knew me before grade 12 would have slapped the label "sanguine extrovert" on me faster than you can say "green eggs and ham." Why is it so different now?
Ah, the mysteries of life! I'm sorry, I just had to get all that off my chest. I think that was a very disjointed paragraph. That could be because I just got up from a nap in which I had disturbing dreams and the whole time I've been writing this I've been looking at the clock on my computer and wondering how so much time has passed without me noticing. Maybe it's cause I'm dreading Monday so much. The more I try to dig my heels in the faster time goes. Oh drat, I'm off on a tangent again... don't expect anything coherent from me today.

So I woke up this morning at 9:30 am. I got up, had a big bowl of Shredded Wheat and bananas, did my crossword puzzle, and then crawled back into bed for 3 more hours, where I readThe Divided Crown , a very badly written but nonetheless entertaining fantasy novel by Isabel Glass (obviously not required reading for any of my classes!), and munched on raisins and peanut-butter-smeared rice cakes. Then, I made myself french toast and ate 4 (yes, 4!) pieces smothered in applesauce.
It was a very enjoyable morning. I haven't even made a pretense at personal hygiene. Showers are just one of those things that should never happen on a Sunday. (God made it a day of rest, right?)
Actually, it was a very enjoyable weekend altogether. Maybe that's cause I went to the library (hence the novel-reading) and then spent some of my paycheck on those yoga pants from Jacob that I've been coveting for a long time. And yesterday and Friday I spent a lot of time watching basketball, which was fun and entertaining - and time consuming. So today I have to catch up on my schoolwork. Ah, well, that shouldn't be terribly painful either.
I suppose I should be feeling guilty since I didn't go to church this morning. The truth is, I don't. The church I used to go to with Cherise hasn't exactly endeared itself to me. The pastor is actually kind of a rude person (and rude pastors are one of my pet peeves; the only rude pastor that I like is C.S. and he's not my pastor anymore). Generally, I think that pastors should be soft-spoken, knowledgeable but not arrogant, and ready to listen to people. Also, I like it when they're over forty. That way I know that there's a good chance I'm listening to someone who has more wisdom than I do. Really, I'm not picky, and I don't want to be demanding, I just figure that if I pick a place to spend a morning when I could be sleeping in, it better be with someone I respect.
I actually really miss going to church, though. I miss church in Champion, cause I know everyone there and it's really comfortable and the sermons are challenging and God-focused. One of the things that I've promised myself about next year in Lethbridge is that I'll find a church I like and make an effort to be involved. I really want that to be a part of my life again. For two years now, I haven't had a church family, and I don't want that to happen anymore.
I'm listening to Chris Rice right now. I love his CDs; they are so relaxing. His songs are very real and open and honest. I feel uplifted, yet not bombarded with trite Christianese. Sometimes, in Poetry 208, we do what Nathan and Reuben have lovingly dubbed "song-bashing." It's not as bad as it sounds; what we actually do is take apart a contemporary Christian worship song and talk about why it doesn't make the grade as good poetry, whether due to ambiguities, metaphors that don't make sense, or just unrealistic promises and statements. What's interesting is that so many of these songs we don't really think about when we sing; we don't listen to what we're saying. I think that it's been rather eye-opening for some of us, although some people just get upset that their favorite worship songs are being picked apart, and then they get all sullen.
Hmm, well, I think that's about all I wanted to vent about! Don't ask about school, I get more disgusted with Taylor everyday. (Would you believe that Ralph Korner, Residence Head-Person-Thingie, has lied to me? Yeah, like so much for integrity). OK, I'll shut up about that because I'm trying to learn stress-management techniques, which consist mainly of, don't think about it and maybe it will go away.
OK, bye!

Stanley Climbfall

It's the name of a Lifehouse CD. Actually, I don't even really like the CD. I just really like the name. Climbfall. Cause isn't that what life's all about? You climb and climb... and then you fall... and then you climb again.
I just always wonder exactly what it is we're all climbing. The ladder of success? I don't think I am. I'm too lazy. I want to have a good job, but I don't want to be a go-getter. I'm sure that most of you are shaking your heads right now at the fatal flaw in my logic. I know, I know. Just right now I don't want to think about it.
This is my sister, when she was home over Christmas. Haha, I know that if she finds out I put this picture of her on here, she'll kill me. But she's just so cute in her pjs.
And this, haha, this is a picture of my favorite winter things. I don't have many, so these things are pretty special to me. A. Chocolate (and it's actually good-for-you chocolate, so those of you who know that I'm a hard-core dieter don't need to die of cardiac arrest right now). B. Chatelaine. I just love that magazine. It's happy, real-life, and Canadian. Nuff said. C. My white mittens. I wear them everywhere and they keep me warm and cosy. I'm a big fan.